7:18 am, August 11, 2014
247
A Rewrite. Because it Needs it. Yesterday
We all know that Anet's writers are frikking awful and the common meme said is "I can do better."
Well I decided to literally do better by reworking a particularly painful piece of writing that I received in my mail today as I was finishing Dragon Reach part 1.
The photo shows the original letter. Below that is my rewrite, written to show more logic and less stupidity.
http://i.imgur.com/VA0U9Ln.jpg
"My friend, it appears that the Pale Tree has deemed it necessary that I attend the summit you are arranging to discuss Mordremoth and the ever quickening expansion of his corruption. I am eager to see what results a gathering of such influential and respected representatives of our world's diverse populace may bring, though I suppose in the end there can only be one acceptable outcome.
Though the Pact was formed of similar allegiances to face down Zhaitan, we are still only but a piece of the whole of Tyria. We are her sword and shield but not her mind, nor her body. Mordremoth demands Tyria's full attention. I am confident my presence at the summit will assist you in convincing everyone of this as I have little doubt they they'll want an update on how the Pact plans to move forward.
In doing so, I will stress the importance of a united offensive against this perversion of nature. If you'll please meet with me in the Grove prior to the summit, I shall brief you personally.
I look forward to our meeting.
-Trahearne"
Well I decided to literally do better by reworking a particularly painful piece of writing that I received in my mail today as I was finishing Dragon Reach part 1.
The photo shows the original letter. Below that is my rewrite, written to show more logic and less stupidity.
http://i.imgur.com/VA0U9Ln.jpg
"My friend, it appears that the Pale Tree has deemed it necessary that I attend the summit you are arranging to discuss Mordremoth and the ever quickening expansion of his corruption. I am eager to see what results a gathering of such influential and respected representatives of our world's diverse populace may bring, though I suppose in the end there can only be one acceptable outcome.
Though the Pact was formed of similar allegiances to face down Zhaitan, we are still only but a piece of the whole of Tyria. We are her sword and shield but not her mind, nor her body. Mordremoth demands Tyria's full attention. I am confident my presence at the summit will assist you in convincing everyone of this as I have little doubt they they'll want an update on how the Pact plans to move forward.
In doing so, I will stress the importance of a united offensive against this perversion of nature. If you'll please meet with me in the Grove prior to the summit, I shall brief you personally.
I look forward to our meeting.
-Trahearne"